Lion With No Herd

On the last months, I have felt like a lion with no herd, well, is like my own Wi-Fi to connecting with other people was not working anymore... That is like living as a zombie into the alive world.

Since my last birthday I relized that I didnt have a lots of friends as I believed, and I had to change my mind about the friendship. I mean, I was wrong in my life, in my beliefs, in my love idea... is like, one day, you wake up as other person and  you begin to think about your past, but above all, you think about the future, in general.

There are two kinds of people in the world, the first one, are your really friends, and the second, are  just acquaintances. And, there are two ways for doing things: the good way, and the wrong way.

I know that, there are some people hating me, since I decided stop our friendship, and I began to think different... maybe some people loved me, only when I was a stupid girl and let them to laugh of me, I dont know. I just know that I feel alone, but it is my fault, because I didnt chose the right friends, from the beginning. I want a full time friends, not only party friends., you know.

In the past, I helped to others to find happiness, when they were sad, I just tried to made feel them better, because I know what the sorrow and sadness are. Maybe, if I achieve to make feel someone better, someday, someone else will make me feel better to me.

I wont think like in the past. I feel a different person, well, I already have my defects and failures but now I notice of them.

I keep waiting for love, I keep waiting for someone different that break into my life, and fill her with pasion, hope, happiness... as a reward for I did, someday, for someone else, well, I don want to force anyone to love me, I just want to find the real love, wherever he is.

So, I feel sorry about the people that I had to take out of my life, but I had my reasons, that is not like a bingo, right? Eventually, I will be better, so, everybody we will feel better as well. I know that everything is not turning around me, but everything is a cause and effect.

Sometimes, I think that one should to give up something, to achive something else better. I dont know, how to do to reach the full peace, the full love or something, but I know, how to do to don't reach them. I don't want to stay alone forever.

Grow up it's so easy, but do it with ripeness, I dont think so. Grow up can be painful, sometimes I dont know if I could be able to reach the ripeness, you know. I just try to be a better person, for me, for each others as well, because I dont want to repeat the fails of the past. That was horrible and shameful. I just want to be a correct person, because If I am a correct person, maybe, the life will be correct with me as well.

Ok, I dont want to keep writting about me, maybe it can be boring for each others... and today I decided to think more about each others ;) So, I´m leaving from this place. Bye.. I have done what I wanted.